“My daughter has a big deal with everything, her clothes, her hair, her last fight with a friend. She’s only 10. Life with her is so unpredictable. How can I get her to play it down and be more relaxed? “
“My 6 year old cries all over. Sometimes he falls and cries even though I know it doesn’t hurt. Any toy that breaks, crackers or spilled milk is a big catastrophe. What can I do to make him stop being so responsive. ? “
Children who are sensitive and dramatic can be a challenge. These children are also full of life. These attributes can be resources for them as adults. Children who are dramatic can be great actors, motivational speakers, and activists. Sensitive children can be doctors, therapists, and attentive parents. As parents we must learn to channel their unique character traits in a positive way.
There are many ways we can do this. Two of the most effective techniques are modeling appropriate behavior and reinforcing a child’s positive behavior.
1. Appropriate role model behavior:
Children see everything we do and are inspired by us. It would be helpful for parents to take a look at their own personality. How we respond to life’s disappointments and challenges will directly affect our child. Sometimes the drama runs in the family. If we tone it down, they will too. Let them see you composed and unperturbed, when you burn dinner, take a run with your mother and the waiter gets the order wrong.
You can also talk to them about how you struggle to control your behavior. For example you can say, “I got to the studio today and they were a whole hour late. Boy I was angry and disappointed! I usually let them know how I feel and I don’t care who is listening. This time I took from the nurse leaves and told her calmly and politely that it was frustrating to wait for the doctor. Today I really kept my cool. “
2. Reinforce the child’s positive behavior:
Whenever your child exhibits any kind of calm and peaceful behavior, point it out. The more you focus on their positive behavior, the more positive behavior you will see. You will need to be creative and have a sense of humor to do this correctly. Here are some examples of what you can say:
a. “I saw that when Mandy took your toy away from you, you just had another toy to play with. You reacted calmly and maturely. (Even though they were done playing with it.)
B. “I needed to change my plan and go buy your new shoes tomorrow instead of today. You just said, ‘Mom is fine!’ I’m glad you were so calm about it. ” (You can tell that even if she has something better to do, like going to his friend’s or going out for ice cream with her aunt.)
C. “You had a rough day today. I saw his face when you got home. Instead of complaining, you went straight to your room to get yourself back on track. This is a good way to deal with the bad mood. if she stamped her feet and slammed the door.)
D. “You were so mad today that Jessica was wearing the same new coat as you. You wanted to be original. You cried and screamed about it, but then you calmed down. It’s probably good to be calm again.”
Modeling appropriate behavior and the emphasis and emphasis on the positive and calm behavior of our children are innovative and original ways to improve our child’s personality and actions. These techniques can change our perspective and help us connect with our children. They can turn potentially harmful and destructive interactions into moments of relationship building.
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